[ VIDEO OF VISION BELLOW ]
I had a vision, I was completely awake, not hallucinating, just lying on my couch. For those of you that know me, you know I don't DO visions, I'm not religious, I'm a practical science guy who does things in the real-world. But this vision ripped me apart and changed me.
The context:
Six months ago, I was lying on the couch at the lowest point of my life. Just a few weeks earlier, I’d been kicked out of the very company I co-founded. For over 15 years, I’d been working on variations of the same big question:
How can we massively speed up the way we learn and get things done, so we can actually solve humanity’s biggest challenges?
It’s been my life’s mission (you can read more about that here, on my website). I tried everything to get my vision off the ground. And every time, somehow, the opportunity slipped through my fingers. With this last company, I thought it would finally be different. I learned from every past failure, and done everything “right.” For two years, I poured my heart into it building a great startup business with my co-founders, and worked hard to raise investment for my bigger vision.
Three days before going bankrupt, when we had literally nothing left, we pulled off a miracle: we closed our $3.4 Million funding round. Finally, I thought, now we can make the full vision real. and I was so dam excited!
But that’s when everything shifted.
Almost overnight, my co-founders and our lead investor started excluding me from meetings and decisions. Being the only one in the US while they were all in Paris made it even easier for them to cut me out. Without me, they decided to change the focus of the company entirely, abandoning the vision I’d been building for 15 years for some short-term play. And in doing so, they created an environment I couldn’t stay in.
This "was not personal, this was business" was the excuse, but the reality is, this was the exact corporate, short-sighted bullsh#t I wanted to get away from.
I couldn’t stop asking myself: What the hell am I doing wrong?
What’s the point of any of this if even our best intentions end up twisted or discarded? Do good, do bad, do nothing — it all seemed to end in the same place.
I kept thinking about Yin and Yang, how it’s supposed to represent “balance.” That really pissed me off, it's not a "Ballance" it's a rat race where no matter what you do there is no point. Where there is just enough good where you don't want to end it, but just enough bad so you cannot live in it.
lying on My couch
It was at this moment I had a vision, and yes I know how this sounds! …
I was completely awake, and I have no other way to explain it. I was lying on the couch in the lounge and I saw my life stretch out before me. I saw what was coming, And what I saw was brutal.
This strange Yin-Yang balance I’d been living in (a mix of just enough light to keep going and just enough darkness to make life feel pointless) was about to shift. And not for the better. The little bit of light I experienced was going to vanish completely, and I could feel the countdown ticking.
And my heart broke in pain, so much so I needed to go to the doctor to make sure I was not dying of a heart attack. I could not take it, especially knowing that this future was also in store for my kids and Wife.
WTF, this is hell...
I stayed there for what felt like several lifetimes, and there was no escape. I was in a pit with a maze where everything was black and white. This was a rat race.
In this eternity I saw billions of others with me too, and all we could do was lie, cheat, steal and kill each other in the hope we would somehow find a little peace at the end of the maze. But there was no hope, not even for the "strongest" of us, because there were… things in the maze. Bigger, stronger, crueler. They crushed us without effort, and they enjoyed it.
But even death would not be an escape, on death we would simply wake up back at the start, doomed to run the same race again. It was like living out every bad choice I’d ever made, over and over, for all eternity.
To try get a little further along in the rat race, we would lie, backstab, manipulate, cheat, and kill those around us, even those we may have cared for before entering into this race, and that's what really broke me.
Then came the most terrifying realization of all: this future… was my choice.
Then the vision shifted.
It stopped showing me the future and now showed me the past, every human life that ever lived, billions of lives and I saw everyone, and every day of every life, like a black and white fractal.
The white parts were the good days. The black parts were the bad ones.
And I saw it clearly: we were all in the same boat. Every one of us had been living in this strange “balance” of light and dark for thousands of years.
Some of us had great big plans to try make the world better but everything we tired was corrupted from the start, every single time, no matter how pure the intentions, the darkness would seep in. It was like a cruel curse, twisting even the best ideas from the start.
And yet… somehow, the darkness never fully won. The light wouldn’t let it. Something had been holding the balance in place. Keeping the curse contained.
But in this vision, I knew: that something was about to disappear.
As the vision brought me further into the past, I saw where the darkens entered into the world, it came from a singular point in time. Before that, there was nothing but light.
It felt like that point, was a choice I made, even though this was thousands of years before I lived, it all felt like a memory, it all felt like this was my doing, like I had a part in it somehow. It was a choice I made.
Then I recognized that this is a choice I continue to make, even today.
Maybe… maybe there’s a way to make a different choice?
On that couch, with a pain in my heart so deep I wished i had never even existed, I decided to try. I made a choice that, in that moment, I knew was complete bullshit. But what did I have to lose? I had nothing left,no hope, no fight, nothing left to give.
That was a few months ago. Since then, life for me has changed.
This life is not about all the things I was trying to achieve, it's about a choice, it's about me hitting rock bottom, recognizing I had been making poor choices, and making a different choice.
The me who was, I let him die on that couch!
The vision:
I made a short video about this vision where I try to show what I saw (First 4 minutes)
I then recently added to this video a deeper explanation at the end (last 7 minutes)
I was not ready to have this vision, and I was defiantly not ready to make a choice for something I "knew" was complete bullshit, but i had nothing to loose, nothing more to try.
I was not ready, but this was never about me:
I knew that sharing this would not do me any favors, I’ve been mocked and lost busienss and work, So why did i choose to share it anyways?
Put yourself in my shoes, imagine having this vision and it ripping apart your heart, and then changing your life...